Tuesday, January 20, 2015

a little honesty and a little hiatus

hoping for a blessing from the Goddess of Mercy!

It's a new year and usually I like to make a bunch of resolutions or goals; but this last year has been  kind of a disaster when it comes to goal completion. I have to admit I've been a bit depressed about it.

I kept watching colleagues online that seem to be able to juggle their events and promotion and health and family and friends and books effortlessly and have driven myself to despair with comparisons. That Author is able to write four hundred beautiful novels, go to the gym for three hours a day, raise a family with six perfect kids and is the wittiest person on the internet! This Author does five hundred school visits a year but still is able to get a two hundred incredible books completed and go on date nights with wonderful spouse!

For the past year, I've been trying to figure out the magic formula. Can I work harder? Can I work later at night? Earlier in the morning? Stand on my head? But I still couldn't get it together. What could I do to be like Other Author?

And the answer is...nothing. Because I will never be like Other Author. Because Other Author is not me. Yes, Other Author can juggle the sun, moon, all the planets and all the stars and that is wonderful for Other Author. But I have come to accept that I am not a good juggler. That doesn't mean I don't have my good points, but trying to be someone I am not is a waste of energy (and making me even a poorer juggler). This year, I am just going to try to accept that my limitations are what make me who I am.

This doesn't mean that I do not strive for excellence, in fact it's the opposite. It's because I refuse to give up my ambition that I accept defeat. Other Author can do everything and somehow be brilliant at all of it. I cannot. I have to choose.

So, all of this is to say two things to you, my very patient reader. First, and most importantly, is  that I love interacting with you and am always so, so honored when I hear from anyone. But, ever since Rain Dragon arrived, I've been a poor responder and I truly apologize. I hope you understand my lack of response is more about my poor balancing skills than it is about my affection towards you.

Second is...I must write my novel. I want it to be good, for you and for myself. And because of that, I'm going to be temporarily taking a hiatus from this blog and most of my social media until I at least get the first draft finished. I hope it won't be too long, but I really don't know when I'll be back. If you'd like to stay in touch with my doings, please sign up for my newsletter, which for the time being will be my most active outgoing info.

Thank you so much and hope to see you all again soon!