Tuesday, January 20, 2015

a little honesty and a little hiatus

hoping for a blessing from the Goddess of Mercy!

It's a new year and usually I like to make a bunch of resolutions or goals; but this last year has been  kind of a disaster when it comes to goal completion. I have to admit I've been a bit depressed about it.

I kept watching colleagues online that seem to be able to juggle their events and promotion and health and family and friends and books effortlessly and have driven myself to despair with comparisons. That Author is able to write four hundred beautiful novels, go to the gym for three hours a day, raise a family with six perfect kids and is the wittiest person on the internet! This Author does five hundred school visits a year but still is able to get a two hundred incredible books completed and go on date nights with wonderful spouse!

For the past year, I've been trying to figure out the magic formula. Can I work harder? Can I work later at night? Earlier in the morning? Stand on my head? But I still couldn't get it together. What could I do to be like Other Author?

And the answer is...nothing. Because I will never be like Other Author. Because Other Author is not me. Yes, Other Author can juggle the sun, moon, all the planets and all the stars and that is wonderful for Other Author. But I have come to accept that I am not a good juggler. That doesn't mean I don't have my good points, but trying to be someone I am not is a waste of energy (and making me even a poorer juggler). This year, I am just going to try to accept that my limitations are what make me who I am.

This doesn't mean that I do not strive for excellence, in fact it's the opposite. It's because I refuse to give up my ambition that I accept defeat. Other Author can do everything and somehow be brilliant at all of it. I cannot. I have to choose.

So, all of this is to say two things to you, my very patient reader. First, and most importantly, is  that I love interacting with you and am always so, so honored when I hear from anyone. But, ever since Rain Dragon arrived, I've been a poor responder and I truly apologize. I hope you understand my lack of response is more about my poor balancing skills than it is about my affection towards you.

Second is...I must write my novel. I want it to be good, for you and for myself. And because of that, I'm going to be temporarily taking a hiatus from this blog and most of my social media until I at least get the first draft finished. I hope it won't be too long, but I really don't know when I'll be back. If you'd like to stay in touch with my doings, please sign up for my newsletter, which for the time being will be my most active outgoing info.

Thank you so much and hope to see you all again soon!



9 comments:

asakiyume said...

I continue to be impressed not only by your wonderful books, but by all you do. I can't imagine who you must be comparing yourself to, because what **I** see is someone who both writes and illustrates, does book talks, maintains a social media presence, and is bringing up small kids. Full of admiration for you. But I understand there's always that other person that we look at in wonderment.

Take all the time you need! I'm signed up for your newsletter and will look forward to it as and when you have time. Here's wishing you good, productive writing time!

Marjorie (MWD) said...

I find it is hard to find the mental space required to move from one juggled thing to another, let alone the time to hold everything in the air. I echo Asakiyume's words - I can't wait to read the fruits of your labours and look forward to your newsletters as and when. Well done for taking executive action and all the very best for giving rein to your creativity...

Abigail Marble said...

You're not the only one who who feels this way (and I suspect many of those 'other authors' are only highlighting the brightest moments that make them look good, or else they have a TON of hired help to make it all possible).

I have felt stretched for the entire 6 years since my son was born, and have a tendency to do the same online comparison thing. I have not yet forced myself to take a break from FB etc., but your post is inspiring me to take that important step away from social media. Good luck, and thanks!

Lois said...

It seems to me you have your priorities straight - your family and your writing. I love your blog, but I love your books even more! I am happy to have you be blog-less to be able to read another of your wonderful books. Don't be so hard on yourself. Being a working mom is the hardest job there is. No one does everything perfectly, no matter how much it may seem that they do. You're doing great! Relax and enjoy your life without worrying. It will all be okay.

Tricia Springstubb said...

Amen, Grace!!!

anne said...

enjoy, dear one, and do not fret. we all understand and do not take it personally if you do not respond. people, generally, think of Authors as "Other", and somehow removed, and social media has made them more accessible, perhaps, but that doesn't mean that we all expect to hear back directly. After all, there are bunches of us, and only one (ONE!) of you. Blessings, and happy winter, and no worries!

Stacie said...

Be Grace. That's your resolution for 2015! And remember what Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy". Keep striving for YOUR excellence...Grace excellence. :) You can do it!
Be Grace!

artmarcia said...

When you first have a baby you think, "Will I ever have any semblance of my former life back?" But as I know you have discovered, Rain Dragon IS your life and has and will enrich your former life more than you can ever imagine.

We love your work--it will be back. Enjoy this precious time now. I love the Yoga with Todder video in your current newlsetter--"so sweet of Mommy to make a bridge for me to run through!!"

EatPlayLive said...

I am also juggling, a tween daughter, a small business, and now a new career as a special ed sub teacher. Trying to make these kids feel comfortable with me, and make a connection that will help make their day a success was difficult - and then I tried something fun and creative - and it started with turning a 5 into a dog! It intrigues them, they think it's cool, I then go to the 3 rabbit, then they start coming up with ideas and we are now friends! I tell them who taught me, at one of my 5 trips with my daughter to see you (in Ma, RI and CT), I bring an out a couple of your books (we have every one!) and the day or days with this child are set for success! My daughter has used your drawings and books to show friends so many times, and to make new connections. She has loved your books since she was little, and is looking forward to more. We are major fans, and I think you are an inspiration! We can't wait to see how your daughter has grown since the last time we saw her! Thank you for what you have given us, and for what I know will come in the future!