Wednesday, January 19, 2011

dear friends

For those of you who read this blog, you can probably guess that the word "extrovert" would never be used in a description of me. Even though I do a lot of public speaking, it is not something that comes naturally to me. It's taken me quite a while to be able to talk fairly comfortably in front of group and I am only able to do that after preparing and practicing hours ahead of time.

Having this blog does allow me to share and communicate more than I would in person. This is sometimes good, sometimes bad. During Robert's illness and death, I chose to let my personal life and emotions seep into the cyberworld-- even harnessing its power to create a fundraiser.

I know that these are things that I put "out there" and I do acknowledge that I have blurred the lines of public and private. However, those very things that I have chosen to share are difficult for me to discuss in a public forum. Yes, I have moved forward with my life and I live each of my days as fully and with as much happiness as possible. But that doesn't mean I ever forget about Robert or wish with all my heart that he could've lived the life we so desperately wished for him. There is never a day where I do not think of him, that is not tinged with the sorrow of a love lost.

So, dear friends, this is what I ask of you. I'm so honored and touched if you feel connection to my story--real life or fiction--and I am always happy to talk to you. But please do not ask me questions about Robert in a public forum in front of a large group, consider saving it for a one-on-one conversation afterwards. Or if you wish for me to speak about Robert's Snow to a group, please ask me ahead of time so that I can emotionally prepare myself.

And I will sincerely thank you.


Martha Brockenbrough said...

Grace, when I see your art on my wall, and when I read your books with my girls, I think of you and Robert and am reminded to be grateful of each miraculous day. Thank you for your courage--a living form of grace.

Martha Brockenbrough said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer Morian Frye said...

My heart goes out to you, I know that after almost 13 years of living without my Mom it still hurts. When someone mentions her, and I'm not mentally prepared it is difficult for me. (She was only 51, and it was the evil "C" word) I can still relive 'that day' like it was yesterday. We do move on, and we do learn to be happy, and I tell myself this is what she wants. That doesn't make the pain any less. People say that time heals all wounds, and that is true to an extent. Anyone who has lost someone so close knows, however, that some hurts never really heal. I promise that should I ever be privileged to meet you, I will not publicly mention your grief.
Be strong. Be happy. Oh, and keep writing wonderful books. :)

Sarah said...

So beautifully and eloquently stated Grace. It is amazing how blogs and facebook can blur the line of public and personal life.

As an aside, I've become addicted to Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP, first I read it kind of as a goof, but I've come to enjoy it. The other day I saw a picture of her and thought, "Oh there's my friend Gwyneth." I had to remind myself that Gwyneth and I do not actually know each other.

But I can see how your readers feel that they have come to know you and may forget when they see you that a blog relationship is not necessarily a reciprocal friendship. This post is a great and gentle reminder.

Michaele Razi said...

Very lovely words, Grace. I had the pleasure of hearing you speak at the Western Washington SCBWI conference a couple years ago. And I really got so much out of what you shared about your career path. Your words still encourage and inspire me and you were so gracious when we chatted. From one multi-cultural girl to another, thank you! Oh, and congrats on your Newberry Honor! xo

anne said...

I hope that folks read this post and remember to be sensitive to the loss of others. You said it very beautifully.

people don't mean to be insensitive, they just are, at times.

Grace Lin said...

thanks all, for your understanding. I very much appreciate it.